I started out today writing about how disappointed I feel in humanity right now. The past several weeks have opened my eyes to just how selfish, self-centered, spoiled, entitled and inconsiderate most people truly are. Halfway through my rant, I deleted my bitter words and decided to focus instead on what is right in my world.
On March 24th Mecklenburg County, where our business is located, issued an order closing down all “non-essential businesses”, I texted Darryl: “I’m about to have a full-blown panic attack. Please wake me up and tell me this is all just a nightmare.” He replied: “We will get through it. As long as we have each other, we will be okay. We are stronger than this.” That was exactly what I needed to hear. The life we have built has always centered around each other first and foremost. Sure, we might be working for someone else in the near future, but we will still have each other to come home to and that is what matters most.
I’m writing this sitting on the back deck of a home we own, in a neighborhood that is quiet, nice, safe. We have a small enough mortgage and enough savings that we could pay it off today if we needed to. Very few people our age can say that. We’ve worked hard for the almost thirty-five years we’ve been married, sure, but we have this to show for it. Before this unexpected detour, we planned to be 100% debt free by this time next year. It will now take a little longer, but it will happen. I know it.
We have family and friends who have proven their loyalty during some of the most difficult times in our lives. All of them are currently healthy and thriving. Though we can’t be near them now, can’t hug them, we can pray for their safety, we can check in via phone and text, and we can count on them to love and support us through whatever may come.
Right now, our world feels upside down. But I know there will be a day, soon I hope, when I can sit on a beach with my toes in the sand and let God’s music, the ocean waves, wash away this stress and fear. I’ll close my eyes and thank God for the peace that I have, for the people in my life, and for the upbringing I had that makes me so disappointed in those people I mentioned at the beginning of this blog. Thank God, I know better than to act like that. Thank Mom and Dad for raising me better than that.