Author: holderrobin

Anyone has only to take a look at me to tell I like to eat. It was never in the cards for me to be the size 7 person of my dreams. You see, I grew up in a family of great cooks. My mother, who was my hero, made the most beautiful Pineapple Upside … Continue reading Gather Together

Twenty years ago tomorrow, my life changed forever with one phone call. My dad was on the line and the news was that my mother, my best friend, who was three months shy of her 62nd birthday, had died of a heart attack. I was thirty-six years old at the time, but in that moment … Continue reading Plea from a Motherless Child

"Nostalgia (noun): a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations." Noticing a dragon in the big white fluffy clouds as I sat in traffic the other day, I found myself suddenly nostalgic for those days in my childhood when Angie Kerley and I lay … Continue reading Nostalgia

It is so fitting that there are raindrops falling today. Last night a dear friend and one of the best men I've had the privilege of knowing all my life lost his fight and went to be with his Maker. I don't remember life without knowing Jeff Reid. He was the son of a neighbor … Continue reading Letting Go and Lifting Up

I find myself often dreaming of leaving the area I grew up in in search of a new Mayberry. I assume that most of my readers are familiar with that fictional North Carolina town made famous by The Andy Griffin Show. It's a small town where the people all know each other and are kind … Continue reading In Search of Mayberry

"So, do you want my phone number?" Darryl asked me. "I think that's my line," I responded, laughing. Valentine's Day crept up on me this year. Exhausted from the past twelve months of hell dealing with the pandemic, I remembered this sweet moment from the beginning of my relationship with my husband and smiled. The innocence of … Continue reading The Best Revenge

I was born on March 21st, 1965, the first full day of Spring! Coincidentally, my parents named me Robin. I'm not sure why the decision was made to name me after a bird, but I always thought the combination of the name and the birth date was cool. I'm always on time (or, more often, … Continue reading My Last Name

I want a large bucket of salty, buttery popcorn, a fizzy Diet Coke, a reclining, heated chair, a wide white screen and a really engrossing movie delivered in high definition and surround sound. I want to sit in the dark beside my husband and lose myself in someone else's story for a couple of hours. … Continue reading Beyond Myself

All of the division amongst folks at present got me thinking about and remembering lessons on the Hindu caste system when I was in school. I was taught about Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas, Shudras, and Dalits. I learned that Brahmins were the upper crust and Dalits were the untouchables, the lowest class of people. In between … Continue reading Caste Aside

Driving back from a New Year's visit to our best friends' home in Charleston this past weekend I was, as usual, listening to 70s on 7 on Sirius/XM radio. The station was doing a countdown of the Top 300 Songs of the 1970s as voted on by their listeners. For four hours I listened to … Continue reading Lean On Me

I got my love of the beach from my mother. It's where she was happiest, most relaxed. The same is true for me. I can be tied in knots with anxiety and stress, but when my toes hit the sand, it melts away. When I was a kid, we went to a beach – somewhere … Continue reading Visitations

It is no secret to anyone who knows me that Christmas is a hard time to be me. I can't hear It Won't Be Christmas Without You or It Won't Be the Same This Year without tears springing to my eyes. It wasn't always that way. I grew up in a close extended family that … Continue reading The Presence of That Absence

Unfortunately, I wear my emotions on my face 24/7. There's just no bluff in me. In her novel Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert described it perfectly: My face is a transmitter of my every thought. As David once put it, "You have the opposite of poker face. You have, like ... miniature golf face." All … Continue reading Miniature Golf Face

My life up until the morning before I got married at age twenty was spent in the same house in Long Creek, a small community in Huntersville, North Carolina. When I was born in 1965, Huntersville was, literally, a one stoplight town. If you were going one way it blinked yellow for caution, the other, … Continue reading Mayberry

I don't know of a time in my fifty-five years on Earth when I have felt more discouraged and disappointed in humankind. While I have never been what you would call a people person, I guess I wanted to believe that most people were brought up with the same values and ideals that I was … Continue reading The Golden Rule

My earliest memories of fear in my life were simple separation anxiety. Losing sight of my mother in a store or on a beach where I had wandered a little too far away searching for toys or shells would cause a racing heart, a spike in blood pressure, and, typically, tears. I recall playing on … Continue reading What If

I sleep most nights to the sound of ocean waves ... courtesy of Alexa. I hope someday the sound will be real. It has been my dream to live by the sea for as long as I can remember. My love of the beach grew out of the vacations of my youth. We visited the … Continue reading Sick of the city, wanting the sea *

Anyone who knows me well has probably heard me say that I missed my calling and that I should have been an FBI agent or a criminal profiler. Ever since I read The Stranger Beside Me, a true crime book about serial killer Ted Bundy when I was just fifteen years old, I have been … Continue reading The Other Fork In The Road

I started out today writing about how disappointed I feel in humanity right now. The past several weeks have opened my eyes to just how selfish, self-centered, spoiled, entitled and inconsiderate most people truly are. Halfway through my rant, I deleted my bitter words and decided to focus instead on what is right in my … Continue reading Perspective

Today, March 26th, 2020 is the first official day of Mecklenburg County's "stay at home" order that will last until April 16th. The idea is to keep everyone away from each other long enough to stop the spread of Covid-19, a coronavirus that is devastating people in places around the globe. Closer to home, it … Continue reading Life As I Knew It

Fifty-five ... eligible for the senior discount: a free drink with a meal purchase at KFC and Whataburger, free coffee at McDonalds, and 10% off at Chili's, Dairy Queen, and IHOP. Even 10% off at Goodwill (Yah! ... that was sarcastic, in case you don't know me well), Ross and Michaels and 15% off at … Continue reading The Speed Limit

I sat in a church today, squeezed into a pew with one too many people, and said goodbye to one of the first men I ever loved. Looking around it was easy to see that I wasn't the only one. Every seat on every pew was filled and chairs were set up in every available … Continue reading Uncle Sandy

My personal love language is "Acts of Service", which means you'll earn more points with me by taking out the garbage than by buying me gifts or telling me how great I am. (As an aside, if you have not read Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, … Continue reading The Joy of Giving

The first time I fell in love was in First Grade. No, it wasn't with Mark McKay, the cute little blond-haired blue-eyed boy who sat across from me, though I did seem to get my name written down for talking to him a lot whenever Mrs. McCullough was out of the room. No, I fell … Continue reading My First Love

As long as I can remember I have been a perfectionist. I would erase mistakes in my kindergarten artwork to the point that there were holes in the soft, pulpy paper. I practiced my spelling words on the walk to school and was often the winner of bees. If my mom asked me to clean … Continue reading Perfectly Broken

Not too long ago friends of mine were posting lamentations on Facebook, sorrow filled posts about the loss of a landmark in their lives .... Alexander Junior High School. Sure, I know they changed the name some time after we left there to Alexander Middle School, but it will always be Alexander Junior High to … Continue reading I See What You Did There, God

I'm not sure who the marketing genius was who came up with the idea of a cologne for men with undertones of chocolate, but she (I'm sure it was a female) was a woman after my own heart. The first time I smelled Angel for Men, I was in love. Admittedly, I am a born … Continue reading Angel for Men

The year I was born, my mother bought a new Spring Yellow 1965 Ford Falcon Futura from Huntersville Ford. That car got me to the babysitter's, to Brownies and Girl Scouts, to church, and to Long Creek Elementary School on mornings it was too cold to walk the mile from our house. For eleven years, … Continue reading Ticket to Ride

Growing up, I thought my family, the Cartners, were the real world equivalent of television's Walton family. My dad was number five of ten children that spanned twenty years from oldest to youngest. Almost every Sunday and definitely every holiday they and their spouses and children converged on the house where they grew up in … Continue reading Grandma Cartner

I had accompanied my mom on a business trip to Orlando, Florida. We stretched the trip into a vacation that included a couple of days in Daytona on the way down, an extra day at the new Disney World Epcot Center, and a stop off in St. Augustine on the way home. We'd been to … Continue reading Well, Hello There!

In my seventh year, Mama was teaching me about giving. It was one of her specialties. Nothing gave her more joy than watching someone's face as they opened a birthday or Christmas gift. She'd sing as she happily prepared sumptuous meals for our family or cleaned our house. If she heard of someone who was … Continue reading Christmas Money

I'm afraid to write about your fate because it might open the gate. My dam would burst; I'd flood this place with words and tears of grief, a surging, spewing release. And no one in its path could stand to witness the grief coming from my hand. My heart would leak out all its pain; … Continue reading I’m Afraid

All my life I have enjoyed being a "helper". It started at Mama's side in the kitchen, continued through being the teacher's pet most years I was in school, and is manifested in my adult life through the joy I get at Christmastime, packing shoe boxes for Samaritan's Purse to hand out to less fortunate … Continue reading Pineapple Upside Down Cake

On August 12th, 2019 the eighteenth anniversary of my mother's death will once again rip me to shreds. The worst day of my life started like any other Sunday. I got up with no alarm clock and began my day having breakfast with my husband, Darryl. My not quite 62-year-old mom had undergone rotator cuff … Continue reading I Wasn’t Ready To Say Goodbye