Driving back from a New Year's visit to our best friends' home in Charleston this past weekend I was, as usual, listening to 70s on 7 on Sirius/XM radio. The station was doing a countdown of the Top 300 Songs of the 1970s as voted on by their listeners. For four hours I listened to … Continue reading Lean On Me
Visitations
I got my love of the beach from my mother. It's where she was happiest, most relaxed. The same is true for me. I can be tied in knots with anxiety and stress, but when my toes hit the sand, it melts away. When I was a kid, we went to a beach – somewhere … Continue reading Visitations
The Presence of That Absence
It is no secret to anyone who knows me that Christmas is a hard time to be me. I can't hear It Won't Be Christmas Without You or It Won't Be the Same This Year without tears springing to my eyes. It wasn't always that way. I grew up in a close extended family that … Continue reading The Presence of That Absence
Miniature Golf Face
Unfortunately, I wear my emotions on my face 24/7. There's just no bluff in me. In her novel Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert described it perfectly: My face is a transmitter of my every thought. As David once put it, "You have the opposite of poker face. You have, like ... miniature golf face." All … Continue reading Miniature Golf Face
Trick-or-Treat?
Following all of the heated debate on social media concerning how to handle Trick-or-Treating during a pandemic got me reminiscing about the Halloweens of my youth in Long Creek, the small community I grew up in. My older brother, Curtis, and I had the perfect set-up. Our house was in Westminster Park, a small housing … Continue reading Trick-or-Treat?
Mayberry
My life up until the morning before I got married at age twenty was spent in the same house in Long Creek, a small community in Huntersville, North Carolina. When I was born in 1965, Huntersville was, literally, a one stoplight town. If you were going one way it blinked yellow for caution, the other, … Continue reading Mayberry
The Golden Rule
I don't know of a time in my fifty-five years on Earth when I have felt more discouraged and disappointed in humankind. While I have never been what you would call a people person, I guess I wanted to believe that most people were brought up with the same values and ideals that I was … Continue reading The Golden Rule
What If
My earliest memories of fear in my life were simple separation anxiety. Losing sight of my mother in a store or on a beach where I had wandered a little too far away searching for toys or shells would cause a racing heart, a spike in blood pressure, and, typically, tears. I recall playing on … Continue reading What If
Sick of the city, wanting the sea *
I sleep most nights to the sound of ocean waves ... courtesy of Alexa. I hope someday the sound will be real. It has been my dream to live by the sea for as long as I can remember. My love of the beach grew out of the vacations of my youth. We visited the … Continue reading Sick of the city, wanting the sea *
The Other Fork In The Road
Anyone who knows me well has probably heard me say that I missed my calling and that I should have been an FBI agent or a criminal profiler. Ever since I read The Stranger Beside Me, a true crime book about serial killer Ted Bundy when I was just fifteen years old, I have been … Continue reading The Other Fork In The Road
Perspective
I started out today writing about how disappointed I feel in humanity right now. The past several weeks have opened my eyes to just how selfish, self-centered, spoiled, entitled and inconsiderate most people truly are. Halfway through my rant, I deleted my bitter words and decided to focus instead on what is right in my … Continue reading Perspective
Life As I Knew It
Today, March 26th, 2020 is the first official day of Mecklenburg County's "stay at home" order that will last until April 16th. The idea is to keep everyone away from each other long enough to stop the spread of Covid-19, a coronavirus that is devastating people in places around the globe. Closer to home, it … Continue reading Life As I Knew It
The Speed Limit
Fifty-five ... eligible for the senior discount: a free drink with a meal purchase at KFC and Whataburger, free coffee at McDonalds, and 10% off at Chili's, Dairy Queen, and IHOP. Even 10% off at Goodwill (Yah! ... that was sarcastic, in case you don't know me well), Ross and Michaels and 15% off at … Continue reading The Speed Limit
Uncle Sandy
I sat in a church today, squeezed into a pew with one too many people, and said goodbye to one of the first men I ever loved. Looking around it was easy to see that I wasn't the only one. Every seat on every pew was filled and chairs were set up in every available … Continue reading Uncle Sandy
The Joy of Giving
My personal love language is "Acts of Service", which means you'll earn more points with me by taking out the garbage than by buying me gifts or telling me how great I am. (As an aside, if you have not read Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, … Continue reading The Joy of Giving
My First Love
The first time I fell in love was in First Grade. No, it wasn't with Mark McKay, the cute little blond-haired blue-eyed boy who sat across from me, though I did seem to get my name written down for talking to him a lot whenever Mrs. McCullough was out of the room. No, I fell … Continue reading My First Love
Blessed

When I was a child I had a story book life. I lived in the same single family home with both of my parents and my older brother from the age of nine months to the morning before my wedding at age twenty. We had a dog, a cement driveway with a basketball court, roller … Continue reading Blessed
Perfectly Broken
As long as I can remember I have been a perfectionist. I would erase mistakes in my kindergarten artwork to the point that there were holes in the soft, pulpy paper. I practiced my spelling words on the walk to school and was often the winner of bees. If my mom asked me to clean … Continue reading Perfectly Broken
I See What You Did There, God
Not too long ago friends of mine were posting lamentations on Facebook, sorrow filled posts about the loss of a landmark in their lives .... Alexander Junior High School. Sure, I know they changed the name some time after we left there to Alexander Middle School, but it will always be Alexander Junior High to … Continue reading I See What You Did There, God
Angel for Men
I'm not sure who the marketing genius was who came up with the idea of a cologne for men with undertones of chocolate, but she (I'm sure it was a female) was a woman after my own heart. The first time I smelled Angel for Men, I was in love. Admittedly, I am a born … Continue reading Angel for Men
Ticket to Ride
The year I was born, my mother bought a new Spring Yellow 1965 Ford Falcon Futura from Huntersville Ford. That car got me to the babysitter's, to Brownies and Girl Scouts, to church, and to Long Creek Elementary School on mornings it was too cold to walk the mile from our house. For eleven years, … Continue reading Ticket to Ride
Grandma Cartner
Growing up, I thought my family, the Cartners, were the real world equivalent of television's Walton family. My dad was number five of ten children that spanned twenty years from oldest to youngest. Almost every Sunday and definitely every holiday they and their spouses and children converged on the house where they grew up in … Continue reading Grandma Cartner
Well, Hello There!
I had accompanied my mom on a business trip to Orlando, Florida. We stretched the trip into a vacation that included a couple of days in Daytona on the way down, an extra day at the new Disney World Epcot Center, and a stop off in St. Augustine on the way home. We'd been to … Continue reading Well, Hello There!
Christmas Money
In my seventh year, Mama was teaching me about giving. It was one of her specialties. Nothing gave her more joy than watching someone's face as they opened a birthday or Christmas gift. She'd sing as she happily prepared sumptuous meals for our family or cleaned our house. If she heard of someone who was … Continue reading Christmas Money
Naugahyde Dreams

In my youth there was a chair that sat in front of a window in our family room. It wouldn't have won any style awards and, in fact, probably would have given Martha Stewart cold chills. It was what I suppose you would have called antique gold in color and was made out of Naugahyde … Continue reading Naugahyde Dreams
I’m Afraid
I'm afraid to write about your fate because it might open the gate. My dam would burst; I'd flood this place with words and tears of grief, a surging, spewing release. And no one in its path could stand to witness the grief coming from my hand. My heart would leak out all its pain; … Continue reading I’m Afraid
Pineapple Upside Down Cake
All my life I have enjoyed being a "helper". It started at Mama's side in the kitchen, continued through being the teacher's pet most years I was in school, and is manifested in my adult life through the joy I get at Christmastime, packing shoe boxes for Samaritan's Purse to hand out to less fortunate … Continue reading Pineapple Upside Down Cake
I Wasn’t Ready To Say Goodbye
On August 12th, 2019 the eighteenth anniversary of my mother's death will once again rip me to shreds. The worst day of my life started like any other Sunday. I got up with no alarm clock and began my day having breakfast with my husband, Darryl. My not quite 62-year-old mom had undergone rotator cuff … Continue reading I Wasn’t Ready To Say Goodbye